By: Jeanette Teh
I heard my pursuers’ footsteps pounding the pavement closely behind me. Just as I was about to navigate the sharp corner in mind-boggling fear, the buzzing vibration of my alarm aroused me from my deep slumber. As my thumping heart quieted from the Jason Bourne–inspired dream, I pulled the fluffy covers over my head and braced myself for the nightmarish tasks on my real life to-do list.
Since leaving the corporate world, I’ve worked at home from my desk overlooking the marina with a lovely slice of sea view to the right. My ferocious poundings on the keyboard are interspersed with frequent breaks to look out at the marina with its mesmerizing ripples dancing in the green water below.
After a few hours of productive writing, I was eager to play in the glorious sunshine, so on Procrastination’s orders, I moved the rest of my to-do list to tomorrow. After all, I lied to myself, waiting one more day would not hurt.
To celebrate the wonderful fall weather, I had started going to the beach regularly for some me time. Leaving my apartment, I skipped down the cobblestone street, passing al fresco diners at The Walk Jumeirah Beach Residence’s (JBR’s) many restaurants. Arriving at the beach, I kicked off my pristine white sandals and walked past throngs of sunbathers and two camels patiently awaiting their tourist riders.
I plopped my orange towel beside an abandoned sand castle and peeled off my wrinkled sundress. After completing my sunscreen obligations, I took in the scene unfolding around me. I watched the children, some naked as the day they were born and others covered like mini scuba divers, frolicking in the waves.
Unconsciously, I sucked my stomach in as the slender, yet impossibly voluptuous, women with glistening golden tans strutted along like models on a catwalk at the sheer delight of the guys nearby. However, the main star of the show was undoubtedly the rolling waves as they broke gently onto shore. The waves were calm and not of the bikini-malfunction variety they would become later in the day. I sat Buddha-pose, watching the blue-green waves tumble and turn into white surf.
Opening the crumpled sheet holding my affirmations, I read slowly: I put aside stressful thoughts and focus on what is beautiful in my life right now. I glanced at the sea and smiled. It certainly claimed the top spot at the moment. Pausing only to look at the majestic pink Atlantis Hotel on the palm-shaped island, I continued down the list to remind myself of all the good in my life.
The past year had brought so many challenges that it was sometimes incredibly difficult to focus on the positive. I lost my father very unexpectedly, grappled with mortgage woes, career issues, the eruption of tiles that rendered our living room a mini earthquake zone, and a host of other stresses.
As such, Despondency and Frustration had both taken sporadic residence with me for some time now. When I decided to take a time-out from the corporate world, Confusion came into the fray while I fretted about what to do with my life and how I could find that elusive Self or Contentment. Of course, at the start of my post-corporate life, Joy was present — I had been ecstatic to finally pursue my love of writing — but the honeymoon period abruptly ended. Joy left in a hurry, slamming the door when realization of the difficulty of being a financially independent freelance writer struck. That, along with the barrage of technological hurdles I faced as an analogue girl fighting to stay afloat in a digital world, resulted in my vocabulary resembling a belligerent drunken sailor.
Feeling positively affirmed, I began my five-minute meditation. Since I’ve never been able to clear my mind (Mel Gibson in What Women Want would have heard constant chaotic conversations in my head), I was starting in small doses. I breathed deeply and took in the scent of sunscreen and the crisp, salty air. Tuning out the chatter around me, I listened to the sound of waves crashing onto shore and felt the soothing, gentle caresses of the wind. I glimpsed an image of my dad sitting on the sand and quickly blinked away tears, desperately blocking thoughts threatening to invade my consciousness. Before long, I was filled with serenity and calm, feeling at one with the sea.
After my rumination-free period, I walked along the water’s edge, gently kicking powdery sand and treading nimbly over broken seashells. Lost in thought, I soon reached the end of the beach, which is marked by SkyDive Dubai’s landing strip. Squinting into the sunlit sky, I saw skydivers floating down, pirouetting in a colourful parade among the clouds.
I turned to walk back, looking down in hopes of finding a pretty seashell, and continued to splash through the shallow waters. I stopped to write in the sand the names of the demons plaguing my spirit, and I watched the words and worries get washed away by the waves. At that moment, surrounded by turquoise water with the sea breeze tugging at my unruly hair, my skin gloriously sun-kissed, I was completely at peace and filled with tranquility.
Originally published in 2011 on Tale of Four Cities.
Jeanette Teh is a legal and corporate trainer, adjunct (assistant) professor, non-practicing lawyer, writer, coach, and founder of Kaleidoscopic Sky. You can find more about her at http://linkedin.com/in/jeanette-teh-601115.
